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Single & Satisfied......

They ask, Why are you single? My answer to this loaded question is “I’m single and satisfied because I chose me”. This is the most rich and rewarding time period I’ve lived through and one of the most beneficial relationships I have been in, a relationship with myself.

For most of my life, I have been in mediocre relationships where I felt like I was not growing or evolving. Instead, I was losing myself with every relationship I was in. I was a very insecure, unsatisfied partner in my past relationships and I lost my confidence and self-love. I definitely did not like how I felt and I was tired of feeling like being in a relationship for the sake of just not being alone. I always had this idea that being in a relationship would complete me, I ended up feeling lonelier in a relationship than being on my own.

I have been single by choice for three and a half years and it was the best decision of my life. I spent the years healing, loving and learning more about myself. Single-hood for me has been the perfect opportunity to understand my inner world, prioritise my values, make my own choices, cultivate a high self-esteem and ultimately live my most authentic free life.

Freedom is really important to me, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you can’t experience freedom in a relationships or marriage; you certainty can be free in a relationship with the right partner that loves you unconditionally but in my case, the commitment I made to being single enables me to continue to committing to myself, my dreams, my growth and advancement in life.

Being single and satisfied means being fully committed to being whole and falling in love with myself before I fully love someone else. I don’t fear being alone anymore, that means I don’t drive in the arms of the wrong people.

The world is a fascinating place, with so much to discover, feel, achieve and experience and it’s been important for me to experience the world alone. There’s so much freedom and time to spend doing the things you like. I enjoy catching up with my girls over lunch and drinks, traveling, meeting new people and developing high value, intentional relationships. When spending time alone, I enjoy listening to motivational podcasts, painting, working out and doing activities which help me discover new things about myself. I have also built a deeper and stronger relationship with God through which has been the most satisfying journey. I spend a lot of time praising and worshiping Him and also praying for my future partner lol.

Does this mean I will be single forever? My answer is ‘’no’’, I am a hopeless romantic, I want to experience unconditional love and grow with someone. However right now I see the commitment to being single and satisfied as a rewarding journey that reconnects me to myself and I believe this will better prepare me for a lasting relationship in future.


Lisa @lisamadibe


  1. To my sisters

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Aug 21, 2023

Only coming across this blog post now. Much needed, thank you.


Thank you for this 🥹❤️


I needed this 🫶🏽

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